Cheering on friends a couple of weeks ago, darting all around the city just to catch that .5-second adrenaline rush of seeing a friend during the Chicago Marathon, had me thinking a lot. And now, as I look ahead to this weekend’s New York Marathon, where I’ll be cheering for even more friends from afar, I can’t help but notice how hard I’ve been on myself.
Yes, I get it, people catch the marathon bug. You feel the magic on race day, the energy in the crowd, the determination on every runner’s face, and you think, “I want to do that.” Part of me feels that too. But for me, there’s always been something deeper behind it.
Ever since graduating college and stepping away from basketball, I’ve felt that quiet pressure so many “retired” athletes talk about. We joke about it all the time, “So what’s next? Coaching? Training for a marathon? A triathlon? Maybe an Ironman?”
It’s like there’s this unspoken expectation to move on to the next big thing. And honestly, there’s a part of me that feels guilty, or even embarrassed, that I haven’t run a marathon yet. Which sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud. I’m 25. Running a marathon is an incredible commitment and accomplishment. And yet, I still feel something about not having done it, or even questioning if I ever will.
As I’m writing this, I can feel that part of my competitive, perfectionist, athlete identity peeking through, like it does. I’m even catching myself wondering, Am I making excuses? Did I write this just to feel better? To ease some anxiety?
Maybe. Maybe not. Will I ever run a marathon? Maybe. Maybe not.
But instead of getting mad at myself for thinking that way, I’m just going to notice it, and let it be.
Because here’s what I’m learning: it’s okay to not want to chase the next mountain. And it’s also okay if the next mountain you do choose to climb looks completely different from the ones everyone else seems to be climbing.
So to my fellow “retired” athletes who are still figuring out what your next big thing is, I’m right there with you. Let’s remember to be kind to ourselves. You don’t have to chase the next mountain right away. Sometimes the real growth comes from learning to pause, reflect, and be proud of where you are right now.
FAQ: Life After Sports
How do you know when you’re ready to stop competing?
There’s no single answer—many athletes struggle with identity loss after retiring. Therapy can help you redefine purpose and routine.
What if I feel guilty not chasing another big goal?
You’re not alone. Learning to rest and reflect is part of building a sustainable mindset.
Feeling the same pressure after sports? You’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Connect with a therapist at Millennium Athlete Wellness who understands the unique challenges of life after competition.
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