My college roommates and I were obsessed with Sex and the City. For bright-eyed 21-year-olds, it was the perfect blend of procrastination and fantasy—laughing at Carrie’s misadventures while imagining what it might be like to be single in a big city. Fast forward to adulthood, now living in Chicago, and I totally get why Charlotte York once yelled, “Where is he?!” in a diner, venting to her friends about the exhaustion of dating. Honestly, Charlotte, you dodged the Hinge bullet.
The narrative around singleness has shifted in recent years—51% of Americans are now single, surpassing the percentage of those married—but that doesn’t mean being single is easy. Between swiping fatigue and the endless societal pressure to “find the one,” it can feel like the world expects you to have your love life perfectly sorted. I can’t be the only one who got the inevitable “So, when are you bringing home a nice boy?” interrogation at the holiday dinner table last month.
Let’s be real—being single can be a mixed bag. On one hand, it’s a chance to truly discover yourself. When you’re not splitting your weekends between “us” activities or debating whose turn it is to pick dinner, you get to focus entirely on you. Singles often build stronger emotional independence, invest more deeply in friendships, and have the freedom to chase personal goals without compromise. Honestly, that’s pretty empowering.
On the flip side, it’s not all rose petals and personal growth. Loneliness can sneak in, especially when you’re bombarded with couples’ holiday photos or being the last one to RSVP “solo” to a wedding invite. Add in societal pressure—because apparently, your relationship status is everyone else’s business—and it’s easy to feel like you’re behind or missing out. We’re constantly told that romantic relationships equal happiness, which can leave singles feeling like they’re not enough.
And then there’s the emotional toll of the dreaded dating scene. From awkward first dates to miscalculated blind dates, sometimes the grind of “putting yourself out there” feels more like a part-time job than a journey to connection.
After being single for a while, it’s easy to feel like you’re the walking red flag. Maybe that’s because our expectations of what dating is supposed to look like are completely off. Social media doesn’t help—it’s a highlight reel where dating looks like one fairy tale after another. Perfect proposals, candlelit dinners, dreamy vacations—it’s hard not to feel like you’re falling short when your reality looks more like a Hinge message left on “seen.”
Still, being single doesn’t have to be a battle. It’s about navigating the highs and lows with perspective, recognizing that this chapter—like all others—has its own set of challenges and joys.
Author of Navigating Dating in Your 20s | Connect with me: Amelia Abernathy | LinkedIn
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